Hello Jenna,
My partner of 10 years has recently gotten into doing drag. He spends a couple nights a week in the mirror perfecting his makeup, online shopping for dresses and looking for drag wear. We have a 6 year old son who is observing all of this. He reassures me that he loves me and this is just a fun outlet.
He says he’s always wanted to try it and finally feels safe enough to do so. He’s always been slightly depressed and now that he has this hobby he is lighter than air. I’m annoyed by all the time it takes away from our family time but also glad he is happier. What should I do?
Love,
Life is a Drag
Hi Life is a Drag,
Your partner is finding themselves. You are witnessing a transformation. This doesn’t fall in line with how you saw your family and I get that.
You say he’s always been “slightly depressed” and now he’s not so much. Could you be scared that he is changing so much that you will be forced to change?
So you have two clear choices – either embrace the change or fight against it and see how that turns out.
What example do you want to set for the child you share? Your choice lies deeply in how you think. You can choose how you think about this but I don’t think your partner can choose to happily drop the drag. And would you want that anyway? They would just hide it from you and wouldn’t you agree that family secrets are so 1992?
Your son is growing up in a world much more open minded than you did. I bet if you asked your son what he thinks about the whole thing you’d get a really beautiful answer. He wants an intact, happy family, I’m sure.
Don’t be a drag! Set some family time boundaries, and clearly ask for what you want from your partner, but make sure to support their new interest. You never lose when you pour effort, understanding, and love into a relationship you cherish. You will always be proud you did, no matter what happens.
Also, take care of yourself. You deserve the life you crave. You never know…it just might turn out better than you expected.
I’d love to know how it goes. Please keep in touch.
xo Jenna