Jenna,
My mother has always held me back in life and at 47 years old I just realized this.
– Please help me cut the cord
Hi Please help me,
It’s an uneasy feeling when you feel like you’re being held back. Especially, when you’re trying to move forward in your life. This is usually when the perceived problem seems to stand out more than ever…
You’re grown. You are in charge of your own destiny. What would happen if you tried just letting go of thinking she is holding you back? If you can’t quite do that yet you can start by assessing the current damages…
Ask yourself – what is she holding you back from?
Dating, marriage, happiness, jobs you want, dance parties, dressing how you want to, etc? Make a list of the things that you think she’s holding you back from, and beside each one of those things make one simple plan of how you’re going to change that.
Take control of your own life. You’re 47. You have to be the one to cut the cord.
A lot of the time the things some moms do or say, that might rub you the wrong way, are often said just because they care, and want to protect you from what they perceive is failure, pain, or rejection. With compassion and understanding for her and yourself, you’ll likely discover that it’s just your mom’s own personal fears that seem like they are holding you back. She’s possibly projecting onto you without even meaning to.
However stuck that makes you feel is your responsibility. You just have to remind yourself that you are a person with your own values and goals. You can respectfully listen to her suggestions and then make your own choices.
Here are some ways you can handle yourself and stand in your power with your mom or just about anyone:
- Be honest with them.
- Just say no to things you don’t align with.
- Learn to laugh it off.
- Don’t ask for advice.
- If they give you advice, just say thank you.
- Learn to agree to disagree.
If you’re still feeling triggered after trying all of this then I recommend seeking out further counselling. You may have more to unpack. This is hard stuff. I commend you for reaching out.
Now go get your life! You’ve got this!
xo jenna